My American Dream
Part-1: Arrival, Emotions, Adjustment, Hope
In preparation of activities and outreach options for the aftermath of the pandemic in 2021, MIM Board Members were discussing several ideas. One of them was to share our America experiences with our member community. When I decided to contribute, the first thing that came to mind was naturally my very first day in America, the day I arrived in New York.
I was working as a Chief Engineer in the Department of Drinking Water and Sewage for the State Hydraulic Works in Ankara, Turkey when I made the decision to go to the U.S. to obtain a Masters’ Degree in Civil Engineering. It was a big decision! I needed to prepare well and do a lot of homework for this great adventure I was planning to undertake, despite having very limited finances and not a single word of English. As part of my preparation, I sought advice from my colleague Ali Aydın who had previously obtained his Master’s degree from Texas A&M University. His advice was unexpected – the first thing out of his mouth was “Forget about your status as an engineer until your education is complete! You’ll need to earn a living and at the same time be able to save money for tuition so you’ll wash dishes, drive a cab, or pump gas at a gas station – nothing will be below you!” This was a LOT to take in and a lot for me to digest! From chief engineer to gas station attendant!
I readied myself for the worst, determined to weather whatever came at me and to be singularly focused on the end goal.
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It was September 3rd, 1981. I was chasing my American Dream. On the PanAm flight bound for New York from Istanbul, I was filled with a mix of emotions – anxiety, excitement, trepidation and the thrill and fear of facing uncertainty.
After filling the ashtray in my armrest several times over with my cigarette butts, I was almost there. The wheels of the plane touched the ground around 3:30 pm at JFK Airport and at that instant, the pilot made the announcement that marked the first day of the rest of my life: “Ladies and Gentleman, welcome to the United States of America.” This is it! The adventure begins – I’m in America!
I picked up my luggage and joined the taxi line. When I climbed into a cab and saw that the cab driver was a woman, I was surprised but relieved. “A female taxi driver,” I thought “What luck! I can relax, she’ll be honest and she won’t rip me off.”
My English was non-existent so I gave her the piece of paper with my friend’s address in Manhattan. She took a look, said OK and turned on the meter. After about an hour, during which I soaked up my first sightseeing experience of New York, we reached my friend’s office. The meter read $47 and according to my homework I knew I had to tip so gave her $50 and said: “Thank yu.”
After the many many hugs and kisses (the Turkish welcome) my friend asked after my journey: “The cab driver didn’t take you for a ride, did he?” “No, luckily I had a female cab driver and she turned on the meter – it came out to $47 and I tipped her $3,” I noted, proud at having successfully navigated my first New York challenge. He laughed; “You’ve been had! The ride from JFK is a $25 flat fare. With a $1 tip, the whole trip would be no more than $26. She charged you almost double! Congratulations and welcome to New York!”
Despite all the homework I thought I had done, I realized that in order to make it in another country, it is critical to learn the language but of equal importance, is learning the culture. If not, you would need someone to guide, protect and look out for you, which is a luxury for some and an impossibility for most, who just don’t have that kind of support system.
My next adventure was traveling within New York City. With no English and no idea how to use the bus or navigate the subway system, I was forced into the most expensive means of travel – another NY taxi ride! I took a cab from my friend’s office, where I had left my luggage, to the Columbia University campus. Using a lot of body language and waving my papers around, I found the admissions office, showed my acceptance papers and registered for the ESL (English as a Secondary Language) course.
Back in the cab, I was returning to my friend’s office, traveling southeast on Broadway. It was rush-hour and the traffic was inching forward very, very slowly yet the meter seemed to be ticking away incredibly quickly. The dollars were adding up at an insane speed. It’s a good thing I’m not a nail-biter, I’d have no nails left!
All of a sudden, a police car screeched to a halt next to my cab. I flinched and ducked, fearful as two police officers jumped out. They ran onto the sidewalk, grabbed a black man and spread-eagled him against the police car, all the while screaming at him with a gun pointed at the man’s head. A gun pointed at the man’s head! I assumed the screaming was the officer telling him not to move …or else! If it was me, never mind moving, I wouldn’t even breathe! But that’s not what happened. The man used his right heel to kick the cop right between his legs, and then he did it again! And again! I was so afraid for the man, afraid that the cop was going to shoot. I remember sliding forward and ducking down in the back seat of the cab. What an experience for the first day!
Astonished and a little shaken by the experience, I told my friend what I had witnessed. He laughed and just shrugged “You’ll get used to seeing stuff like that!”
My first day was nearly over. My friend and I got into his car and drove to his home on Long Island where he later introduced me to friends of his, a Turkish couple. The man had a law degree from Turkey but was working as a manager at a Turkish-owned gas station. I guess Ali Aydın was right!
To celebrate my first day in America, we all went to dinner at a Howard Johnson’s in Mineola. After dinner, they ordered an ice cream dish called a Banana Boat, served in an ice-cream sundae glass. It was easily the largest ice cream dessert I had ever seen. The sundae glass was huge and there was as much ice cream piled on the top as there was in the glass, with chocolate sauce dripping down the sides and a large banana perched on the top. I was used to a serving being one scoop and even that was an indulgent treat. This was enough ice cream for 6, 7 or more. Between my taxi adventure, the cops and the ginormous ice cream, I was definitely getting a crash course in New York culture.
Over dessert, the lawyer/gas station manager agreed to give me a job at the gas station, at $4.25 an hour. Initially, or at least until my rookie days were over, I was given the night shift from 11:00 pm to 7:00 am to earn $34 every night. Of course, without any hesitation, I jumped on it. My plan was to work until 7:00 am then, after my shift, go to school to learn English, go home, sleep, study and be back at the station at 10:30 pm to take my shift over at 11:00 pm. That was my plan and that is exactly what I did. Every day. Sometimes at the weekends, there was a vacancy in the shifts so I was able to pull a double-shift and make $68. When school was out, that was even better as I could work 7 days a week, 16 hours a day and make $476 a week! The wheels were turning, things were moving forwards and I was excited – working 448 hours a month I could make $1904!
Instead of working at an office for 35 hours a week, 140 hours a month, with health and retirement benefits, paid vacation and all the deference that is afforded to a Chief Engineer, I was chasing my dream to obtain a Masters’ degree in America, working nearly quadruple the work hours, being on my feet 16 hours a day, 7 days a week in the snow, rain, the freezing cold and the intense summer heat. This was a hardship but, yes, this was truly my great adventure!
As I reflect on my choices, in less than 24 hours I had gone from being a chief engineer to a gas station attendant, from being a respected professional to an invisible immigrant, something that many would not choose or have the courage to face. America was not for everyone.
Of course, this transition is not a hardship for everyone. Those who have financial support from their families or who have had the opportunity to learn English before they arrived to have a very different experience. However, this was my experience and I knew that I had to deal with whatever was thrown at me because there was no way, absolutely no way, that I wasn’t going to make it.
Looking back to my first day, I had arrived, I had registered at school and I had found a job (I had also been ripped off by a cab, seen the NYPD in action and enjoyed the biggest ice- cream ever.) Now, on my second day, I needed to find somewhere to live.
I was fortunate in that my friend took the day off work to help me and to introduce me to my new surroundings. The local Turkish community was very supportive and the owner of a nearby Turkish-owned gas station referred me to an older lady who he had heard was renting rooms in her house to foreign students. Together, we went to see Mrs. Rice at 16 Barwick Street in Floral Park. For $40 a week, I rented the little bedroom at the top of the stairs from the side entrance. The room was small, so small that when the door opened it touched the foot of the bed. There was a small wardrobe, a slim dresser next to the bed and if the bed wasn’t pushed all the way against the wall, you’d have to walk sideways to the door. It was tiny, I shared a bathroom but it was affordable and it was my new home!
We went to retrieve my luggage and I moved into the room. I was alone but here I was – I was really in America! That night, as I thought back over the past two days, I looked in the mirror while washing up by the sink and I noticed the man in the mirror staring back at me. He said “I’m the best and only true friend you have in this new life. Come talk to me with all your troubles and we’ll solve them together!” He then added; “You have two options: Either you succeed, or you succeed!”
It was difficult falling asleep that night. I was filled with a range of emotions as I contemplated who I now was, who I had been and where I was heading… into the unknown.
But I knew I wasn’t alone. The man in the mirror was going to give me all the support and strength I was going to need. I had hope and I was motivated – I was going to succeed!
Said Nurhan
MIM President, 2020